For neurologist Dr. Daniel Lesley, memory concerns are a daily conversation. At least half of the patients he sees at Remo Health, a virtual dementia care provider, come with the same question: Are their memory lapses a normal part of aging—or a warning sign of something more serious?
“People are terrified of memory loss,” Lesley says. “They fear it means losing who they are. But most don’t know what’s normal and what needs attention.”
As the brain ages, occasional forgetfulness—like misplacing keys or forgetting where you parked—is expected. According to Lesley, older adults naturally shift toward focusing less on small details and more on patterns. This may slow name or word recall but is typically harmless.
However, frequent forgetfulness, such as missing appointments or repeating questions, could signal cognitive decline. Dr. Zaldy S. Tan, director of Cedars-Sinai’s memory program, advises checking in with loved ones. “Ask, ‘Have you noticed me repeating myself?’ We’re not always the best judges of our memory—we don’t remember what we forget,” he explains.
Experts suggest logging specific memory lapses in a journal to help doctors identify patterns. Vague complaints won’t help much, but detailed records can.
There are several red flags to watch for:
Trouble with familiar tasks: Forgetting how to operate everyday appliances, like a washing machine or toaster, especially when focused solely on the task, can be concerning.
Missing commitments: If long-established routines start slipping—like forgetting to pick up a grandchild from school—it may be more than just distraction.
Personality or mood changes: Irritability, depression, or apathy can precede memory loss and may be early signs of Alzheimer’s or dementia.
Misplacing important items: Everyone misplaces keys now and then. But consistently losing valuable items—credit cards, wedding rings—suggests deeper issues.
Repetition: Repeated questions or stories, especially if the individual was clearly paying attention the first time, may indicate cognitive trouble.
Getting lost in familiar places: Trouble navigating well-known routes is a major red flag, signaling issues with spatial memory.
Family history matters: If a parent developed Alzheimer’s early, similar memory problems in their children may warrant closer monitoring.
While these symptoms can be alarming, doctors stress that early evaluation can make a difference. “There’s no need to panic,” says Dr. Gary Small of Hackensack University Medical Center. “But there’s also no reason to ignore the signs. Memory issues, if caught early, can often be managed with lifestyle changes and medication.”
In short, knowing what’s normal—and what’s not—can be key to protecting your cognitive health.
