People living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) often wait more than a decade before receiving an accurate diagnosis, experts have warned, as stigma and misunderstanding continue to keep many sufferers silent.
On average, it takes between 14 and 17 years for someone to be diagnosed with OCD after symptoms first appear, according to mental health specialists. The condition, characterised by intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviours, is often hidden due to the shame associated with its distressing symptoms.
“OCD is filled with very distressing thoughts that go against someone’s values and morals,” said Baltimore-based therapist Alexandra McNulty, who specialises in treating the disorder. “Because of that shame, people often don’t feel comfortable explaining to anyone—even their doctors—what they’re experiencing.”
The intrusive thoughts associated with OCD can range from fears of harming oneself or others to taboo or violent mental images. When individuals eventually confide in family or friends, they often receive well-intentioned but unhelpful responses that can worsen feelings of guilt and anxiety.
Experts say phrases like “Don’t worry, everything will be fine” can reinforce the disorder’s compulsive cycle. “Providing false reassurance offers temporary relief, but it fuels the need for more reassurance later,” explained Dr Alissa Jerud, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. She recommends instead saying, “I know this is hard for you, and I know you can do hard things.”
Another damaging reaction, experts warn, is expressing disgust or disbelief. “People with OCD may have disturbing intrusive thoughts that are not a reflection of who they are,” said therapist Joanna Hardis from Cleveland Heights, Ohio. “Reacting with shock or judgment reinforces their shame.” A more helpful response, she said, is to normalise the experience by acknowledging that everyone has distressing thoughts at times.
Misusing the term “OCD” to describe neatness or organisation can also trivialise the condition. “You might see someone washing their hands repeatedly,” said Hardis, “but you don’t see the torment driving that behaviour.” Instead of casual comparisons, she suggested offering to help the person find evidence-based treatment such as exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy.
Punishment and dismissive comments are particularly harmful, said Jerud. “Would you punish a child with diabetes for their blood sugar levels? OCD is no different—it’s a biological condition, not a behavioural flaw.”
Experts agree that empathy, patience, and education are key. McNulty encourages loved ones to attend therapy sessions or join support groups to better understand OCD. “People with OCD are fighting hard battles in their own minds every day,” she said. “The best thing you can do is listen without judgment and remind them that they’re not alone.”
