When faced with an awkward moment so uncomfortable it makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you, the best response might be to do the opposite of what instinct tells you: draw attention to it.
According to psychologist Jenny Shields of Houston, calling out the awkwardness directly can defuse the tension and reset the mood. Simple phrases such as “Well, that was awkward!” or “That was certainly honest!” acknowledge what happened while signaling a willingness to move forward. “We think ignoring it will make it go away,” Shields explained. “But when you ignore it, it’s like holding your breath. With just a few words, you release that tension so everyone else can take a deep breath, too.”
From blurting out an unreciprocated “I love you” to waving at a stranger who wasn’t waving at you, everyone has experienced the sting of social discomfort. Shields said even high-level professionals aren’t immune: “They can handle a boardroom, they can handle life-and-death decisions, but if you put them in an awkward silence, they get squirmy and want to disappear. That’s how universal this is.”
There’s also a biological reason awkward moments feel so painful. Shields explained that humans are wired to want acceptance. When a comment or gesture lands wrong, the brain interprets it as a threat to belonging. “Your body doesn’t know the difference between being chased by a lion and blurting something embarrassing at dinner,” she said. “Your heart races and you want to vanish.”
The key, experts say, is to “name the awkwardness.” “Awkwardness lives in silence,” Shields noted. “The second you can name it—with a little humor and empathy—you disarm it.”
Los Angeles psychologist Seth Meyers agreed, adding that humor is one of the best ways to recover from cringe-worthy moments. “Humor helps minimize and normalize the true level of importance of this fleeting moment in a person’s life,” he said. A light-hearted “And … scene!” or “Is anyone else mortified?!” can instantly relieve pressure and make everyone laugh.
Meyers also recommends positive self-talk if embarrassment lingers. Reminders such as “This too shall pass” or “Everyone has awkward moments” help put things in perspective.
If you’re merely a bystander to someone else’s gaffe, Shields advises offering a “life raft” to ease their discomfort. A friendly “We’ve all been there,” or even a cheerful “Well! Anyway!” can help redirect the situation.
Ultimately, Shields believes awkwardness can strengthen connections. “If you approach an awkward moment with kindness or humor,” she said, “you turn what could have been shame into belonging. It becomes a bridge—a chance for genuine human connection.”